Actions speak louder than words.
The fact of the matter is that actions really do speak louder than words. A woman will never believe you if you tell her you are different than the guys who have disappointed her in the past, you have to show her. And not just once, but consistently over time.
Trust is not handed over to you, it has to be earned and then it has to be kept.
Given the current state of dating and the level of effort (or lack thereof) that many men put into courtship, here are a few things you can do to show a woman you are serious about her.
1: Pay attention to detail.
This is a recurring point in some of my articles because it is equally important as it is overlooked. Men are notorious for forgetting little details (hence us always being the butt of jokes on TV and commercials about forgetting a birthday or anniversary). We generally get a bad rap for selective listening or not listening at all.
If you want to show her you are really paying attention to her, out effort into active listening. Pay attention, ask follow up questions, remember details.
Ask her how her friend is doing who was sick last week. Pick up that candy she told you she likes when you see it at the store. Notice when she changes her hair or buys a new outfit. Small things go a long way.
2: Manners and etiquette.
Is it just me, or is there a shortage of awareness out in the world these days? Fewer “pleases” and “thank yous.” Fewer people holding doors for each other, or letting others go in traffic, or just exchanging a friendly smile.
We all seem to be turning inward and feeling more entitled to treatment that we should be grateful for. A healthy display of manners and etiquette will help you earn (and give) respect — as well as attraction.
No good woman is turned on by bad character.
3: Be up front and honest from the beginning.
The vast majority of answers were about being consistent, honest, and truthful about what he wants out of the relationship from the beginning.Too many women are losing trust in men because they’ve heard one thing and seen the complete opposite.
This one is important because it requires patience and consistent effort, gentleman. You could be being completely honest with her, but you also need to put in the time to show her that you’re serious.
A man’s charm can only gain a woman’s interest…it’s his integrity, sincerity and consistency that keeps her with him.
4: Stop trying to sell yourself to her.
I have heard many a story about how the first few dates with a guy have consisted of what sounded a lot like a sales pitch. Whether it be bragging about his accomplishments, how much money he makes, or name-dropping people he spends time with — talking about these things will just bore her because she’s heard it all before.
If a woman has agreed to go on a date and spend her time with you, you already know she is interested. Be cool, be natural, learn about her. It’s not a job interview, just let it flow.
5: Be chivalrous (it still matters).
This includes offering to pick her up for the date (and understanding if she prefers to meet you there), cleaning out your car, opening doors, pulling out her chair, and yes — paying for the date.
This all seems like common sense…until you actually talk to women and hear just how rare it is in 2021.
The good news is: This means it is easy to stand out by letting your actions show her that you respect and value her, which is what chivalry is all about.
6: Actually pick up the phone.
Now that it’s in your hand, go to “Contacts,” find her name, and instead of clicking the little text button, click the green ‘call’ button. This may be a surprise, but your phone actually makes phone calls, too!
Sure, texting is quicker, easier, and a more common mode of communicating — but when it comes to subjects of note such as asking a woman on a date or discussing important topics or plans, a phone call is the gentleman’s approach.
Other times you should just call her: When you want to ask how her day was, when you want to hear her voice, and “just because.”
7: Focus on what is truly valuable.
The right woman doesn’t want your car, your money, or gifts. While gifts can be nice and a nice way to show your affection, what she really wants is your time, your effort, your honesty, your loyalty, and your respect. Those are the things that really matter in relationships and in life.
Knowing what’s valuable (to her) also empowers you to add value and contribute to her life. How can you make her life easier without her having to ask? Can you do an errand for her, or watch the kids/pets, or help her out in a time of need?
These are the things that strengthen a relationship and show her that you’re willing to step up and step in when she needs you (and even when she doesn’t).
8: Always be working to improve yourself.
In order to find the right woman, we must first become the right man.
You don’t attract what you desire, you attract what you project. This is why it’s important to show up with genuine intentions and authenticity from the start, because it will serve as a beacon to those who are similar to you and allow a connection to form.
Ambition, drive, and goals for the future are all essential qualities of a man who a woman is considering building a serious relationship with.
9: Take pride in how you present yourself.
Whether it is how you dress or how you speak, understand the importance of a first impression and how you are perceived.
No, this does not mean to live your life on other people’s terms or always look for validation from them.
What it means is, understanding the importance of making a good impression when meeting someone new. A man who takes pride in who he is and how he presents himself shows that he respects himself and others enough to put in the effort.
Speak (and text) clearly and with intention. Put in more effort than a t-shirt and cargo shorts for a date. Put in the work, enjoy the rewards.
10: Accept rejection with class.
This one may be a little confusing but it is perhaps one of the most important points of all. A true test of a man’s character is not how he acts when things are going his way, but how he acts when things are not going his way. When he gets rejected, let down, hurt, or feels slighted.
One of the most prominent complaints I hear from women these days is about how men lash out, get angry, and become abusive when they are rejected — essentially reaffirming her decision to reject you in the first place.
Any man who lashes out when he is rejected by a woman is sending the message that when he looks in the mirror he is unhappy with what he sees. His fulfillment and self-worth is not based on himself as it should be, but by the acceptance of the opposite sex.
When he feels his value is challenged, he gets overly defensive.
A man who is truly secure in himself will understand that sometimes things just don’t work out. Not every woman is going to want to be with him, and that’s okay — because he is happy just the same. He understands the right woman will enhance his life and be an important part of it, but he is still whole regardless of his relationship status.
A good man is respectful and kind, but not just towards women — towards everyone. He maintains a lifestyle that is good to all who are in it, and inspires others to adopt his values through his positive actions.
He is good to others, not because of who they are — but because of who he is.