Don’t expect true intimacy in a relationship overnight. It takes time and commitment from both partners.
As most relationships age, the interactions between partners often become about mundane things. Discussions about where to dine out, incidences at the workplace, and for parents, children-related issues become the norm. This is where asking ourselves certain types of intimate questions can help bring us together as partners.
Generally, with the passage of time, the intimacy between partners in love relationships takes a downward spiral This is because developing true intimacy in a relationship doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something that takes time and a lot of commitment from both partners to achieve.
Communication through Intimate Questions
One of the most important factors in developing intimacy between love partners is communication. The importance of this is made evident by the fact that men and women view intimacy differently.
While most women experience intimacy emotionally, men on the other hand are more physically driven. However, both need a degree of both forms of intimacy in order for true intimacy to blossom in the relationship.
So, what you understand to be love and being intimate, as a woman for example, can vary greatly from what your guy considers this to be.
Apart from the gender differences in how we view intimacy, our upbringing also has another significant part to play. One such influence might be the way your different parents communicated their love for each other.
This might have over the years created an internal perspective of what you’ve come to expect love to be. As a result, this might affect the way you expect your partner to express their love for you.
Communication, often through asking questions, becomes one of the best ways to bridge this gap in understanding. Asking the right questions at the right time can help to open the window to your partner’s heart. They can also significantly help you to better understand them.
Once again, developing true intimacy in a relationship is something that takes a lot of time and personal commitment. And at times you might want to make some important compromises to develop true intimacy with your partner.
Some of the intimate questions listed here can sometimes be hard to answer. This is because by nature they are questions that might be difficult to talk about.
The fact about true and enduring intimacy is that it involves us becoming emotionally vulnerable with our partners. Emotional vulnerability is perhaps the best way to develop the deepest form of intimacy and trust in a relationship.
To become truly intimate, you must become willing to pull down the walls you’ve built around yourself to protect you. You must be ready to let go of the pain from the wounds of past failed relationships.
At times you might also need to change the ideologies you’ve previously held tenaciously onto. With true intimacy comes the need to also break down all your self-protective methods.
This is often why so many people shy away from the whole issue of intimacy. Yet, it’s a fact that you cannot experience the depth of true love you seek without becoming truly intimate with your partner. And true intimacy cannot come without you becoming vulnerable with your partner.
When you are able to express yourselves and your deepest feelings through asking and truthfully answering questions of each other, then only will you experience through and enduring intimacy.
The more intimate you become with your partner, the more trust you will both have for each other. The more the trust, the more enduring and healthy your love relationship becomes.
About these Intimate Questions
In this post, we’ve curated some of the top intimate questions you can ask your partner to deepen the closeness between both of you. By their nature, they can help you and your partner become closer than ever before.
The intimate questions aren’t related to sexual intimacy but are rather intended to help you develop the emotional intimacy component of your relationship. This perspective is very important.
The reason is that the amount of emotional intimacy shared between couples goes a long way in keeping the relationship together in the long-term.
These intimate questions are highly effective in sparking long and stimulating conversations with your partner. More than that, they are great in helping you better understand how you and your partner experience intimacy.
With such understanding and the right amount of commitment, your relationship is bound to blossom as you both experience true and enduring intimacy.
Feel free to personalize them to suit your partner and your particular relationship circumstances. Go about it in an intentional manner.
Start by setting aside some good quiet time for such discussions. And always remember to be a good listener after asking these intimate questions.
1. I am so deep into you because…
2. Let’s say you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?
3. Has your heart ever been broken before?
4. Of all your all accomplishments in life, which one are you most proud of?
5. If it were possible, what life advice would you give to your teenage self?
6. Is there any way I can better be there for you?
7. Which do you prefer — practical gifts or luxury gifts?
8. One thing that I love most about you is…
9. Is there anything that I’ve done recently that made you particularly happy?
10. I need more… in our relationship!
11. Is there anything I can do to support and encourage you?
12. Is there anything you would truly like to change about our relationship?
13. Was there anything that messed you up during your childhood?
14. In what ways do you feel I can better express my love for you?
15. As an adult, what is your biggest fear?
16. What are most grateful for about our relationship?
17. Honestly, what do you think my major insecurities are?
18. What are the things you feel I do right in our relationship?
19. Between true friendship and sexual attraction, which is more important in a relationship?
20. At what point did you realize that I was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
21. Do you feel spouses should care more about themselves than their children?
22. Do you feel our relationship has helped you develop your emotional skills?
23. Within you, do you truly feel that we’re soulmates?
24. What would be the nicest compliment someone has ever given you?
25. What areas of our relationship do you think are the weakest and that we need to develop?
26. What three words would you use in describing yourself.
27. Tell me something that you particularly admire about me?
28. If you had only one year to live, what are the things you would want to do?
29. How often would you like to go out on a date with me?
30. Thinking about our relationship, what aspect of it makes you happiest?
31. What do you value most about me?
32. Do you feel satisfied with the amount of time we spend together?
33. In what ways have your priorities changed in the last 5 years?
34. What would be something unforgivable to do in our relationship?
35. In general, do you think you’re more extroverted or introverted?
36. What are the three things you think we have most in common?
37. How much do you think your personality resists or is open to change?
38. What takes your breath away about me?
39. How could I be a better partner to you?
40. What would be the best thing about growing old together?
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41. What relationship lessons have your learned since we became partners?
42. Are there any beliefs you grew up with that you’ve now rejected?
43. Is there any profound thing you’ve learned from me since we’ve been together?
44. In what ways can I show that I respect, appreciate, and truly listen to you?
45. How safe do you feel being around me?
46. What is one big disappointment you’ve experienced and can’t forget?
47. How much of your needs does our marriage meet?
48. If you could change anything, what would you change about yourself?
49. I hate it whenever you…
50. Is there something about me you hope never changes?
51. What are some of the things we’ve done together that are special to you?
52. I wish we could do… once again!
53. What are the things you would want me to do to make our relationship more interesting and exciting?
54. If you could alter one big decision you’ve made in your life, what would that be?
55. What brings you joy the most?
56. Whenever you’re upset, would you prefer me to talk to you or give your some space?
57. Is there any way I have helped you learned something about who you are?
58. What aspect of your appearance are you most sensitive about?
59. Are you truly content with the way our relationship is going?
60. What is the first thing that you can still remember about me?
61. What bad habits do I have that bothers you?
62. What exactly is it that you worry most about but know you have no control over?
63. Is there anything I’ve ever done that inspired you?
64. What are some of the ways you truly feel heard?
65. What do you when you’re trying to show me how much you love me?
66. What’s the greatest thing we should be trying to achieve together in our relationship?
67. Which of these is most important to you and why: financial security or personal happiness?
68. Is there anything you’re finding difficult to accept despite knowing that it’s true?
69. What was in your mind when we first met?
70. What’s the worst insult someone has ever directed at you?
71. Do I ever act hypocritically?
72. Do you think there’s any hobby we could take up together in the nearest future?
73. If we could live anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
74. Do you feel that I’m truly supportive of your dreams?
75. What was your first impression about me?
76. What moral value is the most important to you?
77. In what ways can I make you feel more special?
78. Do you have any resentment towards me for something I have done?
79. Do you truly feel loved?
80. I feel very proud of you when…
81. What particular dream would you want me to assist you realize?
82. If I had an incredible career offer, would you quit your job and move with me?
83. Is there anything that you feel intimated about?
84. Would you feel safe talking about an embarrassing secret from your past?
85. In what kind of situation would you want me to lie for you?
86. What do you think, do we go out more or stay at home more?
87. What movie or book has influenced your life the most?
88. Are there good memories you still relish from your childhood?
89. If you could unwind the hands of times, what would you like to witness firsthand?
90. What is it that you like most about me?
91. What is one thing that you can’t do and that you’re embarrassed about?
92. What is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen me do?
93. What specifically do I do that makes you feel truly loved?
94. Do you feel truly respected in our relationship?
95. Is there anything happening currently that you’d like my advice on?
96. Is there anything romantic I could for you?
97. What are the things you don’t like about me or that irritates you about me?
98. Do you feel I appreciate you enough in our relationship?
99. How best can you describe my love for you?
100. What are your biggest dreams?
101. Do you feel like I’m proud of you as my partner?
102. Do you ever wish you could read my mind like Superman?
103. What’s your favorite memory since we’ve been together?
104. Do I give you enough alone time or am I too unavailable?
105. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been through that you’ve not told me about yet?
106. You know it hurts when you…
107. Do you have anything in your past that you find difficult to face or work through?
108. Is there anything you consider bad that happened to you this month?
109. In your definition, what would a perfect day look like?
110. How often do you prioritize my needs above yours?
111. What are your top favorite five things that we do in bed?
112. Using our relationship as a yardstick, what kind of advice would you give to those who are dating?
113. What aspect of our relationship do you think is the strongest?
114. When you are around me, do you ever feel vulnerable?
115. When was the last time you cried and why?
And there you have it.
A Final Word on these Intimate Questions
However, it’s important to keep in mind that you don’t have to ask your partner these intimate questions all at once. That would be exhausting and would not achieve the goal they are intended to achieve.
Keep in mind that you might feel vulnerable answering some of these intimate questions. Yet, always remember that in that vulnerable lies the key to developing the true intimacy you seek.
Admitting that you’re imperfect and come with some quirks is part of being truly vulnerable with your partner. Once again, through emotional vulnerability, true intimacy and the healthiest of love relationships are formed.