If you want to influence your man and get him to do anything for you, this is the key.
It’s a common thing to see women complain about their man not listening to them.
Whereas some women get what they want from their man with little effort. These are the ones that own the key to a man’s heart (they know how to get what they want from a man).
Many times when a woman sees some things she doesn’t like about the man she’s attracted to, she has the belief she’s going to change him by the time they start dating or get married. However, if she’s not able to influence that man while in a relationship, it can be very distressing for her.
Not being able to influence a man can be frustrating for most women. Many times, they conclude men are too arrogant and stubborn. And their natural response to this frustration is complaining, nagging, quarreling, and sometimes fighting.
There are things women who can get their man to do almost everything for them know that other women don’t probably know.
It’s is not manipulation or charm. The secret is that they have the key to a man’s heart — they know how to appease a man to get what they want from him.
Let me share this life story with you
I had a girlfriend (Laura) who stood out (in getting me to do something for her). It still amazed me today the level of influence she had over me.
When I was much younger, giving didn’t come naturally to me. It was hard for me to give money to ladies.
My exes complained, nagged, and quarreled about it, but those things didn’t change me.
A few months after Laura and I started dating; I realized she had some significant level of influence on me that none of my exes ever had —I spent more money on her with ease and I was happy doing it!
Laura got me to do many things that I didn’t even like to do normally. I just wanted to please her. I compromised on some of my standards just to favor her! She truly had my heart.
Here is the key
Sadly, although we are no longer together, she’s still the woman who has had the greatest influence on me and I really respect her for that.
The big question is, was it because I loved her more than my exes? Not actually!
So, what then was her secret?
To the best of my knowledge, I’m convinced the reason she had such a profound influence on me is this, Laura knows how to appeal to a man’s logic and emotions. And she knows how a man wants to be loved.
As a woman, if you treat a man in this manner chances are very high you can get him to do anything for you:
Men love acceptance.
He loves it when you accept him for who he is first and not for who you hope he should be. It’s only when you accept both his good parts and his flaws you can motivate him to change one step at a time.
Laura just accepted my person — both the good and the bad sides. She knew I was stingy with money, but she never complained and nagged about it. She was very understanding and patient. And she eventually influenced that clinging nature of mine. And then, she got whatever she wanted from me with ease.
The lesson is, if you want to change something you’re not comfortable with about your man, you can’t achieve it by being rude, quarreling, complaining, or fighting. Men do not listen to those things.
Even if you eventually got him to do what you wanted him to do by quarreling and nagging, he didn’t do that willingly. He is probably not happy even though he finally did it. This is not a win-win approach.
You can’t control or influence your man genuinely by shouting at him or complaining. The natural tendency for him is to defend himself and protect his ego. He won’t listen to you.
But when you first accept him, love him the way he is, and then tell him what you want him to do, or why he needs to make that change, he will listen to you. Especially when you say it respectfully.
2. Ask in a sweet tone of voice
This was one of her big secrets. Men interpret this as respect.
If you want a man to do something for you and you sound as though it’s your right, he won’t do it. Oh yes, it could be your right, but don’t make it sound as though it’s your right. Rather, ask him in a sweet tone of voice. Avoid being direct or rude.
If you sound too direct, he thinks you’re disrespecting him. For instance, if you want your man to help remove some plates from the dining table and you tell him, “Joe, can’t you see those plates on the table, please remove them.” This to him is disrespect. You’re too direct to the point!
Say it like this instead (in a kind and sweet tone of voice), “Darling, can you please help me remove those plates? I’m really exhausted!” I can assure you, he will gladly do it.
This is the hint, as a woman, you need to eulogize a man if you need him to do something for you or if you want to influence him.
Butter him up with compliments before you ask him to do something that doesn’t come to him naturally. When you do this, he can even go out of his comfort zone to please you.
3. Kind reminders
This is also very helpful.
Sometimes it may take a while for him to do what you asked him to do, probably because he’s not convinced yet, or that he doesn’t have the means to do it yet. At other times, it could be he had even forgotten about it.
All you need to do is keep reminding him in kindness. This is how to appeal to his emotions.
The hint is, avoid shouting, complaining, nagging, quarreling, or fighting with him. Just be kind and patient with him. Chances are very high that he’s going to do it.
The emotional food for men is respect. Men love it when their partner respects them.
Marriage expert and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn came to this conclusion after a scientific study into what men really need:
A man’s highest need is to feel respect, whereas a woman’s highest need is to feel loved.
Shaunti Feldhahn also said that women can lavish lots of love on her man and that’s great. But if she doesn’t also show that she respects him and maybe criticize him in public or question his decisions all the time, he is going to feel disrespected, and then he won’t feel loved.
And when a man doesn’t feel loved, and he feels you’re disrespecting him, you can’t get him to do anything for you peacefully.
Joseph A. Cornacchia