Early on in the relationship, you might feel butterflies in your stomach. You might feel your heart skip a beat. You might get nervous at the thought of seeing this person again. But that feeling isn’t going to last. Eventually, you’re going to grow comfortable with your partner — and that’s okay. In fact, it’s a beautiful thing. A milestone you should be excited to reach.
When you’ve built a solid connection with another person, there will still be moments of excitement and anticipation. There will still be flutters in your stomach and patters in your heart on certain days. But it won’t be a constant. Your comfort will become the constant.
Real love should feel comfortable. When you’re with your person, you should feel at home. Like you can be yourself. Like there’s nothing you need to hide, no feelings you need to censor, no truths you need to deny. Your person should know the real you, the person you usually hide from the rest of the world because you aren’t sure how others will react. Your person should accept you, wholeheartedly, without ultimatums.
Your person should make you feel comfortable opening up about your emotions, even the annoying ones you wish would disappear. Your person won’t invalidate your feelings. They won’t roll their eyes or accuse you of overreacting when something is bothering you. They will be there for you, and listen closely to you, even when what you’re saying is hard to hear. They will remind you it’s okay to feel, okay to vent, okay to be undeniably you.
Your person will make you feel comfortable on your hardest days. They won’t make your problems disappear, but they will give you a safe space to deal with them. They will encourage you to talk it through, to cry on their shoulder, to admit the reality about how you’re feeling. They will make you feel safe, whether you’re going through your toughest days or your best. Your bad mood won’t scare them away. If anything, it will bring them closer because they want to be there for you in any way possible.
Your person will make you feel comfortable, no matter how you look. It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent hours getting ready or rolled out of bed without a shower because they will find you beautiful. They won’t pressure you to look a certain way because their love for you runs deeper than the surface. Besides, they genuinely believe that you’re stunning, even when you feel like that couldn’t possibly be true.
Real love will make you feel comfortable and at ease. It won’t make you second-guess every little detail about yourself. It won’t make you paranoid you said the wrong thing at the wrong time. There’s no such thing as embarrassing yourself in front of this person because they have seen it all, yours best and the worst sides, your lows and your highs.
Real love will give you the freedom to be yourself, to let down your guard and be the person you always wanted to be.
Joseph A. Cornacchia