Ladies who want a serious relationship do not want to be a victim of being used and dumped. Here are ways to avoid being used as a side chick.
It hurts to later find out that the guy you have spent your precious time with, with the mindset that he loved you, never took you seriously. Having invested your time, energy, resources, emotion, and everything, then you later realize that he had been playing with your feelings all along. You discovered he is a player!
You look so stupid, you are emotionally hurt, you wished it was a dream. You can’t imagine this happening to you!
Unfortunately for some ladies, this has happened to them several times. They have fallen victims severally to being used by men and later they are dumped like a menstrual rag. This sucks!
Some of these ladies erroneously think they are destined that way and may not want to give relationships a try again. They believe all guys are the same and they have given up on relationships.
Some ladies can’t even trust any guy anymore, they have started avoiding guys. They may even insult any guy wanting to make advances towards them.
Avoiding guys is not the best way out. The fact that guys have used you in the past does not mean all guys are the same. There are still good guys out there looking for someone like you for a serious relationship.
In this article, I want to show you how to avoid falling into the trap of these players.
№1. Change Your mindset
In life, you tend to attract what you believe.
“It is not what you want that you attract, you attract what you believe to be true.”
Changing your mindset about guys is the first place to start. You have to change your negative beliefs about guys and yourself.
Here are some erroneous beliefs that you need to change :
- All guys are the same, they are all players.
- I’m not good enough for guys to take seriously.
- I’m not just lucky with guys.
- Maybe it’s my fate.
- I’m just unfortunate, I’m a failure!
These and many more wrong mindsets have to be worked on. If you don’t work on them, they will continue to attract the wrong guys to your life.
Shake off these thoughts and tell yourself that you deserve the best. Convince yourself you are going to meet someone who will truly love and care for you. Someone who will value you and treat you like the Princess you are!
Let this sink deep into your subconscious mind:
“If others are enjoying a good relationship, I’m sure to enjoy it too. I have all it takes to meet the right guy for me. I won’t give up on a relationship, I won’t give up on myself.”
Affirm this to yourself over and over again until there is a transformation in your mindset.
№2.Take time to know him
It’s important to state here that guys pick interest in a girl for many reasons. A guy can see a lady and just want to sleep with her, that’s all.
Some guys could date a lady because they want her to be giving them money to meet their immediate needs. Some guys date ladies just for the fun of dating and many other unbelievable reasons
So you need enough time to know exactly what he needs from you. You need time to know the kind of guy he is.
This is where many ladies miss It. They become overexcited by the guy’s attitudes. Maybe he compliments your beauty and he says you mean everything to him, he can’t imagine living without you and all sorts of compliments. Guys, use these tricks on ladies because they know their weaknesses — ladies are moved by what they hear. They over-hype you and say all sorts of beautiful things about you. And you start falling for him!
You need to be matured enough not to allow this to blindfold your sense of mission and judgment. Knowing what you are looking for, don’t give in too soon, give it some time until you are convinced of what he truly wants from you.
You can be his friend but be careful not to visit him alone in his house or in a hotel room. Preferably meet him in a public place when necessary. If you meet him alone in the room things can go haywire and he could have sex with you. Once he has achieved that, he’s done if that was his mission and leaves you with emotional wounds.
Try and find out where he lives and what he does for a living. Find out about his friends. Are they responsible, are his friends more of ladies? If yes, there’s danger. Ask relevant questions, it will help you to avoid many mistakes.
№3. Have a decent lifestyle
Decency is a virtue you must cultivate if you want guys to take you seriously as a responsible lady.
A friend of mine met a girl at a party. He liked her, collected her number, and they started talking. My friend just wanted to play around with her. He wasn’t looking for anything serious. He felt the girl was like any other girl he could use and dump.
When they started talking, my friend noticed that she was very decent in her approach. He realized she wasn’t like others. She stood out and my friend took her seriously and now they are happily married!
Your story can be like that too if you can work on your dressing, the way you speak, and your character too.
Serious-minded guys are attracted to decent ladies. The way you behave, talk, and the way you dress go a long way to tell much about you. Guys are moved by what they see. If you dress and appear like a prostitute you will be treated as one. If you talk like a prostitute he will treat you as such.
You must learn to dress decently, talk like someone who knows what she wants, someone that’s bringing value to his life. Talk confidently but don’t be rude.
When he brings up sex-related topics, like how good he is in bed and the likes, apply wisdom and don’t show so much interest in it. If all he talks about most of the time is sex and the likes he’s a player!
You can avoid being used by playboys if you would:
- Change your negative perceptions about guys and yourself
- Take time to know him very well
- If you work on yourself and be decent
Thanks for reading.
Joseph A. Cornacchia